Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I called Bill and said "Can we adopt a little boy?"

Bill: Sure, load him up.

Me: Really, I want to adopt this boy. (no, its not because I need a boy, he just was adorable and reminded me of Bill)

Bill: Serious, Im not even a good dad to the ones I got.

Me: What are you talking about - we are the best parents ever (trying to use positive affirmation)

Bill: We cant even afford the ones weve got. You really want to?

Me: Yep, Ive got the number

Bill: silence


Me: Hey, what do you guys think about adopting a 10 year old boy?

McKenna: Lets do it, where would he sleep?

Rehgan: Bill needs a boy.

Me: He's the one that doesnt want to

Bailee: I'll go home and make some cookies and bring them to Bishop and tell him he needs to have a boy.

Rehgan: Tell him McKenna will shave her head unless he does

McKenna: I didnt sign up for that!

Rehgan: OK tell him McKenna will die her hair

McKenna: I'll die it pink

Shayna: How much will it cost?

Me: I dont know, how much should we pay?

Shayna: Five................bucks

McKenna: Can we make ten dollar payments every month, like they talk about on TV? "You can save a child for only 10 dollars a month"

When I got home

Kayla: Lets get him. He could take out the trash.

I can hear my call to the adoption agency now: Yes, can I adopt that little boy that looks like my husband, and by the way, my husband doesnt think he wants the boy. Does he take out trash and can I also put him on the payment plan of $10.00 a month?


PamJorg said...

You can borrow one of my boys anytime you need a fix. Really!

Katee said...

Ha ha ha!

Lisa said...

Well if he really looks like Bill then maybe it is worth the $10.00 a month. Then again if adoption is not the option you are always welcomed to borrow one of my boys(they are free). Boys are alot of fun...

Mike and Joelle said...

you are so funny! I left you a voicemail today, but if you wanna give me your email address, I can email you a mailing address to forward that piece of mail. Thanks so much again for EVERYTHING that you guys did for us. We really can't thank you enough. Even to this day I still have people mentioning to me how gorgeous the reception site was!

Jen B. said...

You are so crazy -- you would love a little boy. Lots of mischief, lots of loudness and lots of loves for MOM.

Holly said...

Vonda - I always love your posts - definitely full of entertainment, for sure! I must say that raising boys is a ton of fun. Seeing your little man dressed in a white shirt and tie, holding the door open for you at church - totally priceless. But, coming from a family of ALL girls - I totally know the strength of the "sister-bond".

Vonda said...

Im right there with you Holly. I couldnt feel more blessed with my all girl family. How many people are blessed with all girls? The percentage is about 8 for people that have more than 2 children and goes down after that - so I feel like I have the perfect family and never feel the "need" for a boy. This one just struck me as looking like our family and he was half way raised - Im all about easy. I do get emotional when friends boys get the priesthood, but dont get the same feeling at the pinewood derby:-)

The Galvan Family said...

Vonda, my brother has 5 boys & no girls, maybe you guys could work out some trade! His boys are really cute too!!!

Erica said...

Half raised? That is too funny!

Cassie said...

Sister Guttery! I love your blog, you are hilarious!

Nicole said...

That is really funny! You guys are so awesome!!

Jamie said...

You might want to have Connor come over for a few days to check it out! He eats a ton though so you might want to re-think the whole thing . . . you'll spend twice as much on food. :) Love to read your blog. After looking at Lindsay's I "blog hop" and yours if fun plus I can keep up with your family. Too lazy to do my own.

Jamie Levi

Tamee said...

Okay, I am sitting here in my hotel room trying to read this post to Keith, but I can't because I am laughing SO HARD. I worry though that a boy would throw off the eban-flow in the Guttery househould.
I'll make you a deal.... We'll move next door, and Garrett can come over and take out the trash.... and you raise my daughters through the teenage years. DEAL? We'll even dress up Garrett to look like Bill.
How's the system? I'm off the plan this week becuase we are out here on the outerbank at the most beautiful place ever. Garrett likes to call it "our family's greatest adventure ever!"
I'll call you Monday.

Angie Whitman said...

I so remember seeing those commercials and not understanding why my parents didn't adopt one? It was so cheap!!
You make me laugh. I hope Breea passed on the message that we missed you tonight. And, please order me a box of peaches...that darn canning specialist in our Ward keeps bugging me...haha (love ya Terri). Just joking. I'm excited to learn!

Chelsea said...

Uh-hem, celery? I do believe you pushed me to sign up...and I was in full force tonight with my green onions & sheet cake, where were YOU?


Kristal said...

I've got an adorable 2 year old you can have, and he looks like dad, but with blonde hair (bill) and brown eyes (you), so he would totally fit right in. Think about it and let me know...oh, and free delivery, and he comes with lots of cute clothes, and about a month supply of diapers.

Chelsea said...

To Kristal or Vonda, whoever sees this first!

Hi Kristal, I got your comment, and I can't access your blog, so I have no way to answer your ? about a necklace! Can you email me? Thanks!

Shannon and Jimmy said...

I have pulled some things on Jimmy like adoption and silence always follows and then he comes up with a list of the reasons he worries about my sanity. He is persuasive.

rachel said...

Okay why do I not look at the Guttery blog more often? It is so entertaining!! That last post was a crack up, I love you guys.

marcee said...

Okay, that was HILARIOUS. I need to hear more of those conversations. I can't believe you even remembered all of that!


  • 4/12 Shayna - I said "I really want to buy that table but I dont know where I would put it" (been buying used furniture that I want to redo and its been cluttering up the garage. Shayna said in her sweet inocent voice "you can put it in the garage?"
  • 4/12 - Tessa "Mom, you know what I dont like about mornings? - the sun!"
  • 4/12 - Shayna got her braces a couple of weeks ago and her teeth are starting to go together and she said "Im gonna miss my gap" and she was seriously sad - she wont get to squirt water through her teeth.
  • 3/12 Breea again..... "Mom, I thought it was Lack toesintolerant and I was lacking the toesintolerant, until I read the label"
  • 3/12 Breea was talking about college and she said "In my siriculum (curriculum), I have to take physicology (psychology)"
  • 3/12 - Tessa said - I want to take the "long cut" (instead of the short cut)
  • 3/12 When tucking Shayna and Tessa in Shayna said "You dont have to worry, I set out all your clothes for school tomorrow" - Very Shayna
  • 11/10 When Kayla was little she should always cover her eyes when we went by a graveyard.
  • 4/10 Dont want to forget that Shayna calls the pools water fall a waderfoddle. She also called Aunt Kay, Uncle Kay??? McKenna got grandpa mixed up when she was little and called him "Bunka"
  • 3/10 For some reason, our family forgets the rules to Mexican rummy, shang hi and ALOT of card games, so last Sunday we just delt cards and everyone played whatever rule they wanted. The game lasted about 4 minutes, but we all won!
  • 2/10 I was going to work in Tessas class and she said "Mom, what if you mess up" and I told her I would try not to, but the next thing I know she is asking me if I will pray with her and ask Heavenly Father to help me not mess up. She prayed, and I didnt mess up! (all papers were copied a colated correctly)
  • 3/10 McKenna saying what she liked about Brennon on his Birthday "I like your style and your swager"
  • 12/09 Tessa went to the girls play and said "Willy wonka is hot"
  • 12/09 Kayla has a slight ring worm problem and if you try to hug her she says "OK, but your gonna get all wormy"
  • 12/09 Tessa has been adding Sophia in every prayer including the blessing and this is what she says "Please bless that Sophia will feel better in no time" and her blessing tonight was "Please bless that none of the kids singing on the truck will fall out" - Shes a great prayer
  • 12/09 Tessa said "Mom, I think Im on Santas Bad list" I said "probably not, why are you worried about it?" Tessa "I really dont like coal"
  • 02/09 I asked McKenna if she had taken a shower and she said "I took one, but it didnt work"
  • 11/08 Shayna said "I wish we could have quads like the Poulsens and Jensens, but were too unrich"
  • 10/08 I was bringing Breea home from school and she asked "Can I do my jobs tomorrow? I asked why and she said "If you were to take all the headaches in the world and put them together - thats my headache" DRAMA
  • 10/08 Tessa hands me the camera as we are walking out the door and says "You better take this in case I do something cute"
  • 9/08 Shayna was about 5 and she was giving dad a message and he said "thats a deep tissue message" she said "hold on" and left and came back with toilet paper and stuffed it down his shirt and said "I want to give you a deep tissue message"
  • 8/08 Tessa after hearing some of Kaylas guy friends talk has picked up a new saying "Girls are the devil" - nice.
  • 8/08 As I was carpooling I asked Bailee who she wanted to marry, she said Dallin. Shayna said "Well he is cute mom, no offense"
  • Kayla - She says almost on a daily basis "This will be the last time........" Whether its someone moving, leaving on a mission, the last two weeks before graduation, etc.....
  • Brennon - Whenever he does something he knows we dont like or accidently steps on a toe or runs into someone, he just puts his hand up, smiles and says "high five" You gotta love it
  • Danica - Classic saying "Asians are geneous's"
  • Tessa - 6/08 At the doctors office he was looking in her sore ear and noticed there was still a stitch left in her eyebrow and proceeded to take it out while I was holding her down. She screamed really loud, looked at the doctor and said "I am NOT loving this"
  • Shayna 4/08 She came running in the house, grabed a dress and started heading back out the door to go to Nathaniels baptism. I said "Hey, come back we have to do your hair" She said "No, I dont want to be pretty for Nathaniel" Sure enough, when Bailee and Taryn came over they had their hair perfectly curled, cutest dresses and their shoes matched their dresses (unlike Shaynas)
  • McKenna 4/08 - I had the best dream last night. Mom: What about? McKenna: Snickerdoodles.
  • McKenna and Brennon - 4/08 McKenna: I want to put light blue hightlights in my hair like Klowd 9 - Brennon: I want Lypo.
  • Breea - 4/08 (In a very dramatic manner) "My coach almost killed us today, a few of us threw up, some passed out, she wanted to kill us. I almost threw up."
  • Tessa - 4/08 Talking to Grandma said "The Easter Monster leaves me lipstick under my pillow"
  • Shayna = 4/08 Kayla called from a show but couldnt talk. She said she would call at intermission. Shayna heard me say this and said "Kaylas in her mission?"
  • McKenna - 4/08 "Mom your not fashionable, but you can grow into fashion. It just takes about a month"
  • Kayla - 4/08 Mom said "Its crazy how I have two batches of girls, the older set and the younger" Kayla - "Im glad we could be your test batch"
  • Tessa 4/08 "Brodey - Lets get this party started"
  • Shayna 3/08 I asked her what she did at the gym daycare center she said "I just cleaned things and organized them"
  • Breea 3/08 While saying a prayer at Grandma and Grandpa Hatchs, she says "Bless the Hatchs". Her grandparents were wondering if she even knew she was their granddaughter.
  • McKenna 2/08 Mom, dont buy meat or sugar, Im turning vetrenarian.
  • Tessa 2/08 Mom: Tessa, your such a good girl. Tessa: I dont say stupid or do bad sings.
  • Tessa 1/08 - She was getting chewed on by the puppy and she was half-laughing saying "Are you evil or not evil?"
  • Shayna (6 years old) - She was mesaging dads back and he said "little harder, I need a deep tissue rub" So she went into the bathroom and got a handfull of toilet paper and stuffed down his shirt (deep tissue)
  • Shayna, 11/12/07 Mom: Shayna, say your prayers and thank Heavenly Father for all your blessings. Shayna (super tired): Thats so much. Do I have to thank him for ALL of them right now?
  • Some of our favorite word to call each other when gas is passed: POOPER MCGOOPER, FARTER MCGARTER, FLUFFER MCGUFFER, CRAPPER MCGRAPPER, AND TOOTER MCGOOTER
  • Danica (2) Yepadottado
  • Tessa (3) "Mom, I luz you and you luz me - weez luverz"
  • Tessa (3) - "Youz fweekn naughty" Mom "Who taught you that?" Tess "yo mom" (Thanks older sisters)
  • Breea 3 years - We have lots of gerds in our famie.
  • Tessa 2 years - Yoooz funny!
  • Tessa would often take off her shoes at church and when we asked her why she kept taking them off she said "my feet are grumpy". I guess it was better than Shayna at that age not wearing underwear to church (many times) We finally had to start doing panty checks before church.
  • Tessa (3) thirteen, fourteen, five-teen
  • McKenna (10 in a couple of weeks) - Mom, please let me go in with you. Mom - why. Mckenna - I saw a sign that said "criminal on the loose" Mom - I promise not to go in, I'll just talk to her at the door. McKenna - Im gonna roll down my window and watch you *tears bubbling up in her eyes. Mom to friend - Is there a sign that says "criminal on the loose" in your neighborhood? Friend - No, just "crime watch" neighborhood sign.
  • Kip, Kip, Kurray!
  • Tessa said "Can you take my brain off" and I asked her why, and she said "Its really so tight" 8/9/07
  • "sorry your such a looser" *pointer finger used as a puppet - McKenna (5)
  • Grandma Guttery was showing Shayna (4) a picture of me pregnant with her and Grandma said "Thats you inside your mamas belly" and Shayna said "She ate me?"
  • I need some Wotion on my Weggs - Tessa 3
  • Guess what guys? If you put the milk back in the refrigerator it will stay cold. - Kayla 17
  • Kayla - 4/08 Mom said "Its crazy how I have two batches of girls, the older set and the younger" Kayla - "Im glad we could be your test batch"